Catholic Wedding Homily John 15:9-12 (Tobit 8:4b-8; 1 John 4:7-12; John 15:9-12)

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Dear [Name] and [Name], beloved family and friends, what a joy it is to gather today as we celebrate this sacred covenant of marriage. As we stand before God in this holy place, we reflect on a theme that resonates through all of today's readings – divine love as the pattern for married love. This love – selfless, enduring, and life-giving – will be the foundation of your marriage.

1. The Divine Pattern in Scripture

The beautiful readings you've chosen reveal God's vision for married love. In the Gospel of John 15:12, Jesus gives us the essence of this vision when he says, "This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you." This commandment forms the heart of Christian marriage – to love not merely with human affection, but with the same sacrificial love Christ has shown us.

In your first reading from the Book of Tobit, we witness a profound example of this love in action. When Tobiah and Sarah begin their marriage, they don't turn immediately to physical intimacy, but instead turn to prayer: "Let us pray and beg our Lord to have mercy on us and to grant us deliverance" (Tobit 8:4). Their first act as husband and wife is to place God at the center of their union, recognizing that true marital love must be grounded in something greater than themselves.

Tobiah's beautiful prayer continues with these words: "Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together" (Tobit 8:7). Here we see that authentic marital love seeks the good of the other, desires to journey together through all seasons of life, and recognizes that mercy – the patient acceptance of each other's weaknesses – will be essential to this journey.

The second reading from First John deepens our understanding of this divine pattern when it declares, "God is love" (1 John 4:8). This profound statement reveals that love is not merely an emotion or action but the very nature of God Himself. When the passage continues, "In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as expiation for our sins" (1 John 4:10), we see that divine love is always initiative-taking and self-giving. This is the pattern for your marriage – to love first, to love freely, to love sacrificially.

2. Love's Application in Your Marriage

[Name] and [Name], this divine pattern of love will be lived out in your marriage in countless daily moments. When Jesus says, "As the Father loves me, so I also love you" (John 15:9), he reveals that all authentic love flows from the Father's love. Your love for each other must likewise be rooted in and nourished by God's love.

This means your marriage isn't simply about making each other happy, though joy will certainly be present. Rather, it's about helping each other grow in holiness – helping each other become the persons God created you to be. When you promised to love each other "in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health," you were committing to this divine pattern of steadfast love that perseveres through every circumstance.

The readings remind us that this love isn't passive but active. As First John tells us, "Beloved, if God so loved us, we also must love one another" (1 John 4:11). The word "must" reveals that love is a decision, a daily choice to put the other's good before your own. In your marriage, this will mean choosing patience when irritated, forgiveness when hurt, and selflessness when tempted toward self-interest.

3. The Sacramental Reality

The Church teaches that marriage is not merely a human institution but a sacrament – a visible sign of God's invisible grace. When you exchange your consent today, Christ himself will seal your covenant with his presence. Your love for each other becomes a living witness to Christ's love for his Church.

This divine pattern of love means your marriage has a purpose beyond your own happiness. As First John reminds us, "No one has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God remains in us, and his love is brought to perfection in us" (1 John 4:12). Through your faithful, sacrificial love for each other, God's presence becomes tangible to those around you. Your marriage becomes a window through which others glimpse God's faithful love.

4. Practical Ways to Nurture Divine Love

To nurture this divine pattern of love in your daily lives together, I offer three simple practices:

First, pray together daily. Even if just for a few moments, follow the example of Tobiah and Sarah by placing God at the center of your union. This doesn't require elaborate prayers – simply holding hands and offering your day to God keeps your marriage grounded in its true source.

Second, practice the art of loving first. In those inevitable moments of misunderstanding or hurt, remember Jesus' words: "Love one another as I have loved you" (John 15:12). Be the first to apologize, the first to show compassion, the first to set aside your own preferences. This initiative-taking love reflects Christ's love for us.

Third, regularly remind each other of the good you see. First John reminds us that "God is love" (1 John 4:8), meaning that wherever true love exists, God is present. When you notice your spouse's goodness – their patience, generosity, courage, or faith – name it aloud. This practice helps you recognize God's presence in and through each other.

Conclusion

[Name] and [Name], as you begin this sacred journey of marriage, may you always remember that your love is patterned after divine love – a love that takes initiative, gives freely, and endures faithfully. As Jesus tells us in John's Gospel, "If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love" (John 15:10). By loving each other as Christ loves, your joy will be complete.

May God who has brought you together in this sacred covenant strengthen your hearts in faith and love, so that you may live out this divine pattern of love all the days of your life.